Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize