i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
