Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
