Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
