I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
