You just made me feel so damn special
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
