I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
