Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize