I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize