I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
