pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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