Plan B is the new Plan A
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Randomize
