he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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