Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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