I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
