I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
my poor anus
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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