He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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