i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The uberlube is also flammable
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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