turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize