I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
