I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
