peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
