new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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