So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
