I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
