he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I deserve this hangover.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
