No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
