so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
