I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
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