I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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