Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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