carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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