i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
is it fun? or sober?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
