you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
