Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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