i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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