What a fucking waste of an outfit
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
