Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
