why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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