even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
