This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize