my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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