Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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