i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
