id be glad to
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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