Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize