I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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