I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
