Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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