I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
