Cold hands, warm shart.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
