I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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