Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
