so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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