are you so shy because you have an std?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
