So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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