Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
whose ass print is on the piano?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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