it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize