she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
