Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
