When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
ttyl tear gas
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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