i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
