I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
