we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
