I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
