dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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