I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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