There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
