We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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