I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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