The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
