Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
pop tarts are not kleenex
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
