I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
